Bursting My Bubble

I've been realizing something over the past few years. It is something that I am still trying to believe is my reality. It is this: I was an extremely privileged child. I am not referring to growing up in the lap of luxury. We were a middle class family. I am referring to the fact that I was privileged to have my parents - my dad in particular - around so much. They were both very accessible, even though they both worked. My mom was a public school teacher. My dad is a university professor. I have heard him refer to this profession as the best part time job you can ever have. His hours are very flexible. He was always home for dinner. We took long summer vacations. He had all holidays off. He was there. A lot. I thought this was normal. A lot of my friends had parents who were professors too. I didn't know it was an unusual life style.

And then I got married. To an accountant. Who ended up working for one of our country's largest and most troubled financial institutions (Citigroup). My introduction to corporate America has been rocky. What I thought was normal for a husband and father I have discovered is anything but. His hours are not flexible. If we wait long enough to eat dinner he may be home in time to eat with us two out five nights a week. The other nights he'll usually come home after the children are asleep. We do go on vacations, but he doesn't get every holiday off. I don't think I'll ever get used to him having to go into work the day after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas.

When this lifestyle first started to reveal itself I was indignant and assumed that something was drastically wrong with this picture. Then I started listening to all of the other women around me. I realized our life was completely normal. Everyone's husband was getting home late at night and working weekends and traveling for their jobs and basically not being at home much. This knowledge just makes me feel more sad. This really is the new reality for our families? We're not allowed to have family dinners together because of the demands of the working world? I get so sad thinking about the years stretching ahead...our family gathering around the dinner table and discussing first days of school and science projects and what happened on the school bus and it being just me and the kids. I also feel sad complaining about it to Tyler, because what can he do? Other than go back to school for a PhD and become a university professor...then again, even that job isn't looking so good any more. I really am an adult now because I say with complete sincerity phrases like "what is the world coming to?" .

Perchance to Dream

Sometimes, you just can't help falling asleep on the couch. You know how it is. You are comfortably situated there, laying on the couch with a good book and you are getting sleepier and sleepier. There comes a moment when you think to yourself "I should go up to bed" followed by the thought, "or, I could just let myself fall asleep here".

Letting myself just fall asleep on the couch can sometimes feel...indulgent. Like a little luxury. It is comfy and cozy on the couch with the light of a lamp and the quietness of being downstairs all by myself. So I allow myself to just drift off...and then, sometime later, I wake with a start.

It's one of those "Why am I sleeping here??" split seconds of reorientation. And then suddenly I notice that it doesn't feel so comfy and cozy on the couch anymore. I'm down here all by myself. Late at night. That's not so cozy. A lone lamp is on surrounded by deep darkness in all the other rooms of the house. Its light is stark rather than comforting now. Quickly I switch it off and race up the stairs to my own bed, next to a sleeping husband in a soft darkness. Comfy and cozy once again.

Pledge or no Pledge?

When we bought our house we opted for the separate shower and tub in the master bath. It seemed fancier - more like the going trend in all the master baths you see on television. If I had to do it again I would quite possibly change my mind. Why? Well, one reason is that our shower stall is indeed separate. It is squeezed into it's own little drywalled box that is big enough to turn around in as long as your elbows are at your sides. The big reason though is that now I am faced with the additional housecleaning chore of dusting my bathtub. Yes, dusting it. We never use it - well, except to drip dry our swimming suits in. This leaves me the job of wiping it down every couple of weeks to remove the accumulation of dust on all it's many surfaces. I never have liked dusting. And dusting a bathtub feels like it should be unnecessary. I guess I need to invest in some Calgon to motivate me to use my bathtub. Although a bath loses most of it's allure when it takes place with three little children standing by the side of the tub, wanting to put their hands and arms in the water. I can't lock them out to enjoy a bath either, I'd just be imagining what they were doing out there. Like during my shower on Tuesday, when Lily cut off the hair above both ears into half inch long feathered glory, leaving her with a mullet even Billy Ray Cyrus would certainly have envied. I guess I'm stuck with dusting.

Can't stand this either...

I just have to share another one of the little things that gives me the creeps in life. It's those little stalactites of cheese that dangle from tin foil when you take it off of something that's been baked in the oven. It's so gross. The tin foil looks like a Biore nose strip you just yanked off and looked at under a magnifying glass.

Restating the Obvious Part One

I've always had this fascination with Pioneer Life, based primarily on my many readings of all things Laura Ingalls Wilder. As interested as I am in the time period and the way of life, I have long known that I was not cut out to be an actual pioneer. All for lack of one simple necessity: indoor plumbing.

The other day however, I had this minor epiphany as to another reason why I absolutely could not have abided the demands of that life. I know it should have occurred to me sooner, but frankly, it just didn't. Here it is: the women never shaved. Anywhere. I could not handle it. Leg hair I could probably deal with but...under the arms? I do not think so. Very much not for me in so many ways.

Most Visited

I just read this little article and thought it was interesting. More people visited Temple Square last year than the Grand Canyon. I also liked seeing what places people are going compared to what places I have been. On this list I have been everywhere except the Florida destinations and Hawaii...oh, and Lake Mead. I'm not a desert/boating type of person. I was surprised by the rankings of some things and by the omission of others. No Yellowstone? No San Diego? Interesting. All I know is if I were planning a US vacation I wouldn't be picking Las Vegas over, say, Hawaii. But obviously I'm not the one doing all the traveling these days.

Frivolous Rant

Allow me to editorialize for a moment on an element of pop culture that is driving me crazy lately. Jon and Kate Plus Eight.

I have watched this show maybe ten times, so I feel qualified to comment on their personal lives.

We all know that they are "having marital difficulties". The thing that is really bugging me is the way Kate keeps saying, "Everything I do I do for my children. The books, the show, the traveling, it is all for them. To fulfill this need to provide for my children."

Okay. I can understand being stressed about having enough money to support eight children. The thing is, when she keeps talking about "providing" for the children, I keep asking myself "providing what?". That huge new farmhouse? Because I'm pretty sure the kids seemed just as happy in your old house. Providing a stay-at-home dad while you travel? Because I'm pretty sure this is making Jon bitter and unhappy. Providing a mom who is toned, tanned, coiffed, stylized, and bodygaurded? I doubt they'd miss it. Providing a horde of paparazzi following the children around because they are on this show? Call me crazy, but I think Kate's idea of what she needs to provide could stand a readjustment. Hey Kate - how about providing a happily married mom and dad? I'm pretty sure any child of divorced parents would tell you that would have been the greatest desire of their childhood - even more than the monthly trips to fabulous resorts and 12 volt cars to drive around their multiple acres. You should have some hefty savings by now. You could step out of the spotlight and try to be a family again. But you might have to give a lot things up. It makes me sad to see what people (not just Jon and Kate) are willing to toss aside and what they embrace in its place.