Interestingly, last week (or maybe the week before) I saw a Frontline on PBS about a mortuary. I think it was called "The Business of Dying" or something like that. The mortician who was the main person they interviewed had some insights into how our culture deals with death that I thought were worthwhile. He talked about how we are so removed from death now...in the old days death was so much more hands on. People weren't swept away in a black car never to be seen again until they were pristine and dressed in their finest laid out for burial. Loved ones dealt with the dead from the moment it happened until the last shovel full of dirt was tamped into place. Death really is a part of life. None of us can avoid it. But it seems like our whole culture today is built upon just that principal - to avoid death in any way. I do believe that grieving would be easier if we all weren't working so hard to pretend that death isn't out there, or doesn't affect us, or isn't something that we should let ourselves think about.
So, I have thought about death, and naturally that means I have also thought about life. Specifically the life each of my children are living right now. They are each having such a unique experience in life, and sometimes I try to imagine what it is like for them. How is it to have me for a mother? What are their days like when I'm not with them? What do they think about in their quiet moments? I love talking to them and coming to understand little pieces of the answers to these questions. Ultimately, it is their lives that are the most interesting thing about my own. How could you not want to happily go through life with these faces?
2 comments:
Wendy! I loved this post. I share your feelings about Connecticut, and I also saw most of the documentary. I also heard about a book about dealing with grieving and going through the whole process. One thing that stuck with me from this author is this little story about Itzak Perlman (sp?). He was playing his violin with a famous symphony and in the middle of the one of the movements, one of his strings broke. The audience gasped and the orchestra stopped. The maestro waited for Perlman to give him a cue. Within just a minute, Perlman asked him to start the movement over. He played it with just 3 strings. At the end, the audience burst into applause and stood up. Perlman approached the microphone and told them, "The challenge is to make music with what is left." Typing it out makes me teary all over again. Anyway, just wanted to share.
I love the pictures! They are so grown up!! I love that quote Gina put in her comment. I've been thinking about it a lot and wondering how to apply it to some of my own challenges. I hope you've been able to find a way to show your empathy to the parents in CT.
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